This time last year, I was a mess. When you tend to think of your weight as the biggest problem in your life, it has a dire effect come January 1st. Another year passed, and I’m still not any better than the year before, in fact, I may be more. Well, the truth is, I’m about 28 pounds heavier this year than I was last year, but I’m not depressed this time. In fact, I have hope.

In a way, I am disappointed that I’m back to my highest weight again. Really and truly. But if anything, it has taught me that beating myself up over it does not help anything. One of my favorite quotes is from Albert Einstein which says, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.” Case. In. Point. If anything, the last 27 years of my life have shown that self-depreciating behavior does NOT work. Being depressed does NOT work. Declaring war on food and my body does NOT work. But old habits die hard.

Resolution #1 – Stop the Insanity

I am fat. I may always be fat, and that’s OK. Fat is just a body type, it does not mean that I am lazy, a pig, ugly, unworthy, unhealthy, etc. Aside from being a body shape, it does not define ME. And thus, it is not worthwhile to hate myself because of the fat. My resolution this year is to stop the self-loathing. Yes, maybe I am higher than I’d really like to be at, but at the same time, my body is amazing and I live in it every day. I should respect it, love it, and take care of it so it will last many years to come. If I hate my body, then I won’t be inclined to take care of it. If I feel defeated and depressed, then I will cycle through destructive behaviors. That doesn’t work!

Resolution #2 – Eat Mindfully

Counting calories works in the beginning, but eventually I stop logging and the weight piles back on. Which means, logging calories doesn’t actually teach me how to deal with hunger and fullness very well, because I rely on my head knowledge on how much and what to eat instead of instinct. Therefore, my instinct will continue to be off, eat too quickly and eat more than needed at times. By slowing down and really considering if I am hungry before I take another bite, I can learn to adequately gauge my hunger, and become more in tune with what my body needs, including what TYPE of food my body wants to operate optimally, despite how much food is on my plate.

Resolution #3 – Watch Less TV, Create/Write/Exercise More

Lately I tend to get into watching a show and watch one episode after another every night. This is NOT the most productive way to spend time, although it’s tempting after a long day at work. I need to get back into a routine of regular cleaning/laundry, and, instead of watching TV I could spend some time reading, writing in my journal or blogging, or even creating videos for YouTube or working on my hobbies (jewelry making, art, sewing, etc), exercising, going for walks, and other outdoor activities.

Resolution #4 – Waste Not

I tend to throw out a lot of food because I don’t eat it before it goes bad. Two things need to happen: cook more, and buy less food at a time. Plan meals so more of the stuff I am buying gets used, and keep myself on a schedule. I also tend to buy a lot of cosmetics, nail polish and other stuff that I don’t really need and end up getting rid of at some point, so I’d like to make a more conscious effort to use up the products I have before considering another purchase, and keep the spending down to a minimum.

Resolution #5 – Be a Better Person

I would like to pray more, read the bible more, and in general be more kind and loving toward others by keeping a more positive mindset (kind of goes in line with Resolution #1) and disposition. Be encouraging to others instead of being critical. Be forgiving. Always find something nice to say about someone, instead of focusing on the negative. Seek to uplift everyone and REALLY listen to them. Pray for them. Try and be a good Christ-like example to everyone.

What are some of your resolutions? Do you always resolve to the same things every year, or do you ever accomplish your resolutions? Do you even bother to make resolutions every year? I debated about whether to write some for 2013 myself, but I find it helps give me focus and outline some goals for the next year. These are things that I always try and work towards, but in some ways find myself lacking, or at the very least, consider that I could do even better than I have in the past.

As an imperfect human, as we all are, I think it’s important to acknowledge our weaknesses and put a plan together for self-improvement. I also think that you should break up your resolutions into smaller chucks that you are more likely to be successful with. For example, a resolution like “Lose a bunch of weight” would be a really lofty goal… I’ve made that resolution for a long time only to be disappointed year after year, whereas a resolution like, “eat more vegetables” is something I can actually take steps toward and accomplish without tying it to something really difficult to achieve. Sometimes it’s hard not to resolve to do something really broad, but as much as possible, try and break it down into something manageable for you to actually have steps to complete. Then maybe this time next year, you’ll actually have made some changes in your life for the better. Maybe not 100%, but life is not about perfection, it’s about progress.

I hope that you all have a fantastic 2013… I have high hopes that this will be a banner year for me. It’s 10 years from when I graduated high school, and my 5th wedding and work anniversary. My dad and sister are both visiting me earlier in the year, we may be purchasing a home soon, I recently got a promotion at work & we just moved our office, and I’m really excited about the possibility of trying to conceive this year so we can add a little one to our happy family. Yes, 2013 is going to be awesome, seriously.

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